"What's an acronym?" --response to "Can you make an acronym out of IDIOT?" Nick Aschbrenner: Quantum mechanics makes me want to smash my head into a box of Cheerios. Nick: Quantum mechanics makes me want to hide under my covers. Nick’s brother: While you're at it, you can have Schrödinger's cat curl up to you and keep you warm. "I didn't know there was sketchy in a good way." --Nick "Cikgu tak nak hantar kerja rumah, kamu yang nak hantar kerja rumah." --Puan Bibah, on the question “Cikgu, nak hantar kerja rumah ke?” "For certain it is that God worketh nothing in nature but by second causes: and if they would have it otherwise believed, it is mere imposture, as it were in favour towards God; and nothing else but to offer to the author of truth the unclean sacrifice of a lie. But further, it is assured truth, and a conclusion of experience, that a little or superficial knowledge of philosophy may incline the mind of man to atheism, but a further proceeding therein doth bring the mind back again to religion." --Francis Bacon Blackwell: [shocked tone] Kea, what happened to your hand? Kea: Cigarette burns. Blackwell: How did that happen? Kea: A friend did it. By accident. Blackwell: [doubly shocked tone] Three times? Kea: So I was told. “You can see how awkward it would be to put a piece of hamburger in water and burn it. That’s just not gonna happen.” –Mary Blackwell Stuart Burke: This boat is the Spirit of Downer. Stuart: Milwaukee-Downer College. Girl: Not the cafeteria? Stuart: No. "Yue-Yi has been chattering for about 2 weeks..." --Mum's old diary "After one CF meeting he took me out into the field and asked me to marry him." --Mum, on being kau'd by her Form 6 Physics teacher “There is also an exhibit on Cyclone B, the poison used in the gas chamber.” –Michael Cheang, “Where death reigned” The Star, 21.10.2002 "My question is, DO ALIENS HAVE SOUL?????" – Choo Li Chiean "I tell you, Hwa, you eat computer, breathe computer, sleep also husband computer." –Chu Lei Lei on life at UKM "Paul, thtop thmiling. I can thee you. OK, evewybody wow." –Megan Cole, coxswain, shortly after tongue-piercing Petra: I’ve said this a thousand times—Yi Jien ah, if he catches me when I’m not ready, he can make me do anything. It’s like ‘strike when the iron is blur.’ “I SO want to be a katak di bawah berbilang-bilang tempurung now.” –Petra, after mistakenly emailing not only some of the Phases gang but also my dad and several of his old friends by indiscriminately hitting ‘Reply’ Farzin Haque: Drinking from a test tube. That’s not a good feeling. "Buzzed is when you start spinning. Drunk is when you pass out." –Farshid Haque defining intoxication “good while it lasted, take the good things away, remember bad things too, loh.” --Arthur Goh "On the contrary, decapitation was stressful for mice and consequently NE and E concentrations were high..." --abstract of a paper on blood sampling methodology for mice (Grouzmann E, Cavadas C, Grand D, Moratel M, Aubert JF, Brunner HR, Mazzolai L. Pflugers Arch. 2003 Nov;447(2):254-8. Epub 2003 Aug 5.) "It's so funny--you can tell the freshmen from the upperclassment by their hair. They shower." --Jamie, on early-morning classes "Aiyaa! Pastor's children all reading Harry Potter, aa?" --Some lady at Lok-sok's funeral Yan: "I like weffles." Lyn: "It's 'woffles'. You've been influences by the Singaporeans!" me: "Weffles Girls' School." Hahahahahaha. "Die, die lah, go to heaven better." Yan at four, on the possibility of falling off the jungle gym and breaking her neck Pa: I was at a church member’s house today and I realized—we’re not even middle-class, we’re LOWER-middle-class. megabigBLUR [HSH]: ok i'm putting my friend on the line now, so whatever comes next i'm not respoinsible for megabigBLUR [David]: she makes it sound as if i'm going to type all sorts of horrible stuff megabigBLUR [David]: i really just want to say i like the major jerngAIM: how do i know that was shi hsia in the first place?! jerngAIM: that's nice. megabigBLUR [David]: how do i know you're really yang jerng jerngAIM: I gave you a two word answer real artists don't produce copius amounts of anything except confusion-Jerng on ICQ "I'm passionate about death." --Yang Jerng "She can't tell the difference between onions and garlic and the Air Force wants her?" --Ku-che "Mikey, if you come in here one more time, I'm going to make Dobermann stew." --Ku-che, to Xing's miniature pinscher "Ko, I like it, but I don't think I'll watch it again." --Xin Ping, on A Clockwork Orange "My everything also tak centre!" --Yue-Yi "Pa, can you buy me a G-string? Wait, I didn't mean that." --Yue-Yi playing the guitar YY: I’m still homesick a little bit lah… SH: Well, at least you’ll be used to it by the time you get to college. YY: I don’t think so. My friend Alice, she’s a Kuching girl and she’s still homesick. SH: Kuching girl… sounds funny. Kuching girl. YY: Like Batman and Catgirl? SH: Yeah, Kuching girl and Keluang Man! “Look! Everyone, look! Is this, then, to be called the human condition? -- a life with a deadline, a life with a limit: today. “Once again today I lie down in a strange place in an empty house to spend the night in sadness at the transience of it all.” -- Keinen, Chosen hinikki (Korea day by day) "Oh my God, we've created a monster." --Chiu "You look more beautiful when you sit up straight." --Uncle Joe C.S. Lewis, Vivisection: “If on grounds of our real, divinely ordained, superiority a Christian pathologist thinks it right to vivisect, and does so with scrupulous care to avoid the least dram or scruple of unnecessary pain, in a trembling awe at the responsibility which he assumes, and with a vivid sense of the high mode in which human life must be lived if it is to justify the sacrifices made for it, then (whether we agree with him or not) we can respect his point of view.” "Nobody loves biologists." "It's okay, they can hate us. But we are going to save the world." - conversation with Angela about career prospects “The force used by our police is nothing. Their police are more brutal.”-Dr. Mahatir on the treatment on Indonesian workers. "Such is life."—Mainul "The fear of the Lord is wisdom and knowledge is avoiding sin. So if avoiding sin means avoiding the Lord, is the Lord sin?" –Tomas Majersky, on the book of Job "For the sake of greater effectiveness in witnessing to Jesus Christ Himself, as well as for their own sakes, the Evangelicals cannot afford to keep on living on the periphery of responsible intellectual existence." - Charles Malik, The Two Tasks "Botanists usually stick to the binomial system. Zoologists find they have more species to deal with, so they use the trinomial system, and you get things with names like Gorilla gorilla gorilla." "Now, leaves don't have a vascular cambium. They don't grow secondary xylem! It'd be terrible in the fall, you'd have woody leaves falling off trees. You'd be walking by and a one-pound leaf would clonk ya on the head!" -- Doc Maravolo Doc Maravolo: Now, these peanuts aren’t nuts. Almonds aren’t nuts. Chestnuts aren’t nuts. Cashews aren’t nuts. People just call them nuts, because it would be awkward to send your kid to the store for a can of mixed legumes, drupes, and berries. Doc Maravolo: Look, Rachel, male sex parts! "Christians whose minds are scientific are bound to study science that their views of the glory of God may be as extensive as their beings are capable of." --James Clerk Maxwell "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in puberty." --Paul's letter to Timothy, the Darrin Moy Authorized Version “They’re always looking for the vulva.” -- Shashima Nakahara, on how to tell male C. elegans from the hermaphrodites "Whenever I sing in the kitchen a lot of boys cycle past my house." --Nur Lisa "I hate stupid malfunctioning cats." --Nur Lisa "My father said, 'Why are you so dark? Why are your shoulders so broad? Why are you so butch? I sent you to England a girl and you came back a boy!'" – Ong Su Yen Parks: They’re just variables. It’s not like the first three are spatial dimensions and the fourth and the fifth are where the aliens come from. "I want a nice round football. Not one of YOUR footballs, a REAL football." --Matthew Radford, Actors from the London Stage "So it would be like if we called handphones 'doo-doo-doos'?" –Rob Ryan, on being told that handphones in China are called ‘da-ge-da’ (onomatopoeic for the clicking keypad) Sanerib: What’s one over huge? Student: Small. Sanerib: No, one over big is small. One over huge is tiny. "We hope people understand that the more we wrangle over the environment, the more nature has a tendency to come back and bite us. The environment should not be politicised.” - Ministry of Natural Resources and Environment secretary Datuk Sazmi Miah “I’m gonna go out there and race like a piss-horse.” –Khara Schelach, before a regatta "A liberal arts education has value, it's just not monetary value." --David Scott "So love can be like a discontinuous function." --David Scott "The raging socks/ And shivering shocks--I mean, raging rocks..." --best misquotation of Shakespeare I've heard "Shakespeare's just Playboy." --one of the PhYW "For all men have hearts, and each heart has its own leanings... We are not unquestionably sages, nor are they unquestionably fools." --The Seventeen-Article Constitution of Prince Shotoku “We have been told so many times that we are low that is is carved on our brains, like the carpenter carves on wood.” --Kata Sing of the Kalash people of the Hindu Kush (October 1981 National Geographic, p. 473 “When I say ‘I think I know where I’m going,’ that usually means it’s going to take a lot of walking.” – Steve Skroch "How has this course changed over your tenure?" "Well, when I was in your place we knew there was something called a thymus. We were trying to figure out what it did." - student to Gary Splitter. “The movie was right: there’s definitely something about Mary.” –James Stark Stephanie: I don’t know whether it’s them hitting puberty or me hitting menopause. “During the R and R, you all will stay in the hawtel, or the mawtel. If you lucky, you get air con. Those suay suay one, onny got blade on the ceiling.”-unidentified CSM in the Singaporean Army (www.talkingcock.com) Emile Souvestre, The World as It Shall Be , 1846 “The ease and speed of communication had brought all the nations together without the intervention of any other unifying body. Each group had lost its distinguishing characteristics, but had not acquired those of the others. Their vacant faces were like coins worn away by use, which had lost their imprint and only differed because they were made of different metals. Because they had come to regard the world as a great highway, they had lost all their sense of nationality: they no longer had a town, or a hearth; and, in consequence, they had no motherland. Places were no more than bases of operation to which individuals were briefly attached, like posters pasted on the wall of an inn.” Em, on Comzero: (Jan-24-2002 1:25 AM) Just wondering if anyone else noticed, but in LOTR, the BM subtitles were a scream. 'My Precioussss" was "bendaku yang tak ternilai harganya" but the all time best was. "The one ring was forged in the fires of Mt Doom" = "cincin yang satu-satunya dipalsukan dalam api-api Gunung Celaka." !! Em, again: (Jan-24-2002 1:28 AM) ’Brings back memories of the bacteria culture lab in UM. At one time, the sign read "Makmal Kebudayaan Bakteria".’ "After the second book it's just Ayla and Jondalar rolling in the hay." --Em, on Jean Auel Jeremiah: ^_^ I like cats. megabigBLUR: me too. interesting personalities. mind you, i'm not a cat/dog partisan. Jeremiah: Pratically human. megabigBLUR: nah... Jeremiah: No? =( megabigBLUR: but they're soft and nice =) and people aren't always. megabigBLUR: and you can't go around cuddling and stroking people you like at random (especially not if you've just met them) =P Jeremiah: Well, those who don't do enough sit ups are also nice and soft.... "Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae." --Kurt Vonnegut Comzero discussion, after Jeremy posted a photo of a memorial sculpture at Sachsenhausen. (I still think Vysia is a bimbo): Ciunas Feb-2-2002 4:49 AM Art: It's a memorial. Ken: Some where. There have been account from survivors/records about how some prisoners were cremated while conscious/half-dead. vysia Feb-3-2002 12:30 AM Why so bad one? How can anyone be so heartless la? Why they never make sure those ppl are dead first one? Evil la. I don't believe it. Jer, you're making up stories to scare ppl, aren't you? Aren't you? wolfx Feb-3-2002 12:41 AM Jer: I'm curios about what that statue is doing also....what is it doing? And...sick !@&^*(!...argh! Ciunas Feb-3-2002 6:17 AM V: No, I'm not. Go do more research on WW2. Ken: It's a statue of concentration camp inmates mourning and carrying the body of another inmate. It's sad, not sick. Kahani Feb-4-2002 8:31 AM Vysia.....if you haven't heard of the brutalities in the german concentration camps during WW2...namely during the holocaust, I suggest you find out soon...*shudder* "...Penangites could be one of the most insular of all Malaysians..." --Raymond Woo "Is reading a Hwa thing?" --Michelle Yip